He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
