I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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