I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
where are my eyebrows?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
