i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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