Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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