That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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