You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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