There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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