All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
