I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize