i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Pants are for mortals
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
