My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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