You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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