we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
