Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
