Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
