we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
