I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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