We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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