I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
