Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
