In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
