Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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