Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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