I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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