My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
