was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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