So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
