i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
