so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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