I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
