Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
