I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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