guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize