im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize