you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
