i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
