its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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