Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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