Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
