A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
