look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
