perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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