i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
