Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
