Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
