Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
