This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
