I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize
