I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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