I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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