It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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