apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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