yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize