How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
