so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
