So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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