i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
